I stand in awe.

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,

Consider all the worlds They Hands have made;

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great thou art.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great thou art.

When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,

And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.

When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur

And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to thee,

How great Thou art, How great thou art.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to thee,

How great thou art, How great thou art.

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;

Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;

That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,

He bled and died to take away my sin.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour, God to Thee,

How great thou art, How great thou art.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour, God to Thee,

How great thou art, How great thou art.

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,

And take my home, what joy shall fill my heart.

Then I shall bow, in humble adoration

And then proclaim: "My God, How great Thou art!"

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee

How great thou art, How great thou art!

I'm at a loss for words at this point.
God is so unreal. He continues to blow my mind every single day.
God Has blessed me so far beyond my comprehension. He has given me grace when I wasn't the least bit deserving. And yet day by day I continue to complain about this amazing life I have been given when really, I don't even deserve life at all. And then just when I think that He's blessed me so much, he pours out His love even more. How can I ever give back to Him even a miniscule particle of what He's given me.

So I guess to make a long story short, this year has been one of, if not the hardest years of my life. And it's hard to explain to friends that are non beleivers because when I tell them what's going on, they really have no clue what I'm talking about. But to put it into perspective it was almost as if I had experienced the loss of a few of my closest friends. And in a way I did. I lost the most important part of them therefore sacrificing the tight knit relationship that we once had. And like I said it's hard to explain if you're not a Christian, or even if you've never been through it yourself. But i guess for me, I'm the kind of person that gives my all for the people I love. I would do almost anything for them. And not only did i feel as if i had lost some of those that meant most to me, it felt like i was the only one giving in all of the friendships that I had left. Maybe it's different for other people, but for me, a friend is someone who truly desires to make you happy. And someone who wants to know about your life. Who genuinely cares about you. Someone who digs so deep into you that sometimes they know you better than you know your own self. Someone who keeps questioning you and pushing you even when you say no because they KNOW you're only saying that and you want them to push until they find an answer. I guess i'm just the kind of person that, I'm not going to just sit down and tell you all about my life. If you want to know the depth of my soul then you need to ask me about it. I keep alot of things hidden because i'm used to being the one that helps other people. I guess maybe i just take friendships (at least real ones, that matter) more seriously then most people?

But anyways. Over this past year, a couple of my friends started to walk away from Christ. And I won't get into details about how it affected me but lets just say that its probably one of the hardest experiences that i've had in my life thus far, and its not something that you can just fix. Not to say that I haven't learned a tremendous amount of things through this experience, because I have. Alot. But it definitely hasn't been easy. So one thing that i learned pretty quickly is that, none of this is in my control. And the only one that I can fully trust and rely on is God. And so I have been. And frankly, He's the only one thats kept me hanging on. So I continued to pray, every night for these friends that somehow some way God would work a miracle in these girls lives. That he would change them, for real this time. And this weekend He changed one of the ones that means the most to me. And if you know me you know that i'm holding back tears just thinking about it again. And i'm so stoked for what God will do with her life. I just hope that she's for real this time and that she doesn't stop for anyone and that she lives out her life to the fullest and lives every moment of it to Glorify God. And honestly, like i said before, i'm at a loss for words. God is so ridiculous. I don't know how he does it. And i don't know how to thank Him. Because nothing i can say or do will ever suffice. But i know that this day has changed my life. Because this girl has changed my life. And i know that she will continue to change my life and im so thankful to God for her.

And just when I though I'd had enough tears and emotions for one night, I meet my other friend in the hall and she;s bawling and tells me that she's going to break up with her boyfriend. Why am I telling you this? Because i'm so proud of this girl. Even though she's loves this kid so much, and she loves his family, and she truly believes in Him, she went and she broke up with Him. And she did it for God. So that both His and Her relationships could grow closer with God. Seriously, when did all my friends become so amazing? Like I said, I'm blessed beyond words. God's grace is unfathomable.